735 Ratings. Find yourself a good Dominican girl, he says. From there, what little life you have goes south. And Elvis for a boy. The following version of this story was used to create this study guide: Diaz, Juno. You’re surprised and excited and a little wary. On whether you’re planning to give me ass anytime soon. Are you the father? Same place I met you, she says. Say that in Spanish, she challenges and, of course, you can’t. The final story, ‘The Cheater’s Guide to Love’, is narrated appropriately enough in the second person, and tells of Yunior’s comeuppance. She doesn’t speak to you again for two whole fucking weeks. After serving her tea you ask, Are you keeping it? Like a hardhead you keep trying to run, but the pain sharpens. Central Argument Elvis Choice 3 In Junot Diaz’s, “The Cheater’s Guide to love”, Yunor’s shallow critical reflection, lack of confidence, constant shifting identity, and ignorance of stereotypes are evidently shown through his code switching between Elvis and others, which You can’t run, you can’t do yoga, even riding a bike kills your back. And you thought this guy was a good idea for what reason? This shit sucks, Elvis says. Remember the last time we went to the D.R.? You start doing pushups and pullups and even some of your old yoga moves, but very carefully. You cut it out with all the old sucias, even the Iranian girl you’d boned the entire time you were with the fiancée. By Junot Día z. July 23, 2012. But Elvis doesn’t flip. Have you thought up any names? I don’t want him in here. You are in class teaching Intro to Fiction when you get a text from one of her girlfriends saying she has gone into labor, six weeks early. You pay for almost everything. You blame Santo Domingo. Yes, she’s really young and you fuck a whole lot, and during the act the two of you cling to each other for dear life, but afterward you peel away like you’re ashamed of yourselves. Case in point—Justin’s dad. Sometimes it takes a month. He was pinned under the burning wreckage for what felt like a week, so he knows a little about pain. You would have felt like you’d violated her safety or something. Seriously? In his story, The Cheater’s Guide to Love, Diaz covers the journey of Yunior of finding and losing love and the ups and downs along the way. A month passes, two months pass. You work harder than you’ve ever worked at anything—the teaching, your physical therapy, your regular therapy, your reading, your walking. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Have you ever stopped to think about the mindset of a cheater and what is REALLY going on internally for them? You go to the door a few times and watch her, wanting to be called in, but she always glares and asks you, What the fuck do you want? That’s not about race. There’s a photo of the two of them dressed in what you assume are traditional Kenyan jump-offs. Kisses you at the door as she leaves; it all feels too chaste to you, too lacking in promise. It’s a Moro-type reflex, nothing more. You have dinner with two girls. Love is something we all take You notice that she has lined up three suitcases in the foyer. Sometimes Elvis joins you, since his wife doesn’t allow him to smoke weed in the house. One minute you have to stop yourself from jumping in the car and driving to see her and the next you’re calling a sucia and saying, You’re the one I always wanted. She’s half your age, one of those super-geniuses who finished undergrad when she was nineteen and is seriously lovely. He starts to bawl then, and you put him down, watch him run around awhile. Don’t make me do this, Yunior, Elvis pleads. You are led around the corridors and finally given some scrubs and told to wash your hands. You try it all, but one day she simply sits up in bed and says, No more, and, Ya, and asks you to move from the Harlem apartment that you two share when you’re not teaching in Boston. My leg!—but that seems incredibly cursi. You joke, And? He’s smiling at some inner thought. She is immensely sad on that beach and she walks up and down the shining sand alone, her bare feet in the freezing water, and when you try to hug her she says, Don’t. And because love, real love, is not so easily shed. You’re out all the time, but no one seems to be biting. he asks, finally. she cries. Elvis asks after the first sleepover. You stop smoking. Because you’ve gone through so much together—her father’s death, your tenure madness, her bar exam (passed on the third attempt). What she does appear to like is your body, can’t keep her hands off it. On the ride out to the hotel, up through those wild steeps, you pick up a pair of hitchhikers, a couple so giddy with love that you almost throw them out of the car. The next day, you look at the new pages. About this essay More essays like this: Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin - Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University. You begin to wonder if there’s some secret mark on your forehead. Cheater’s Guide To Love Rhetorical Analysis Love is a bittersweet thing. During finals a depression rolls over you, so profound that you doubt there is a name for it. You are at his house when he bids his wife and mother-in-law and daughter goodbye. You have trouble adjusting to it full time—to its trains that stop running at midnight, to the glumness of its inhabitants, to its startling lack of Szechuan food. Eat more vegetables, exercise almost every day, and don't forget the sunscreen.If you know the recommendations but can't find time to follow them, this "Cheater's Guide" is for you. Of course you feel terrible. Elvis isn’t listening. Save this story for later. You try to describe it. You don’t know what to say or how to act, so you take her upstairs. You don’t know how it happened, but it happened. She says nothing. 3 years ago. Of course you look for her on the flight. I’ve never hurt a woman in my life. After a pause you demand, Why would you say that? Your girl catches you cheating. You keep waiting for the moment when you’ll never think about the ex again. One of the ex-sucias publishes a poem about you online. He’s not the father. You harbored a lot of grievances against her anyway. you say. It is a strange pins-and-needles feeling. Elvis tears the invite up, throws it out the window of his truck. Right back into the depression. That’s about nationality. Over a tortured six-month period you fly together to the D.R., to Mexico (for the funeral of a friend), to New Zealand. You must have needed it bad, because once you get into the swing of it you start running four, five, six times a week. You’re afraid to tell anybody else, to share the—what? This is ridiculous, you say. You’re not going to go psycho on me, are you? You get serious about classes and, for your health, you take up running. Copies of all the e-mails and photos from the cheating days, the ones the ex found and compiled and mailed to you a month after she ended it. She had him with a banilejo who had four other kids with four other women. You listen for a bit and then you say, Just don’t end up like me. She doesn’t mess with you again. He puts her in your arms. One year for every year you dated. Arlenny, you know, would march right in and boot her ass out on the street. You lug up the suitcases despite your back, despite your foot, despite your flickering arms. Her two girlfriends rush at you, but you have already exited. So the padrino finally decides to visit, she declaims in one of those loud ronca campesina voices. Normally that would be a no-go, but Noemi is not only nice, she’s also kinda fly. About the Book. How sweet was that toto? Looks you in the eye. But, in the end, you do. Cheaters Season 17 Preview 245. It happens again and again. Read "Summary & Study Guide: The Cheater's Guide to Love" by BookRags available from Rakuten Kobo. She shows you pictures; kid looks like he’ll be dropping an album if she’s not careful. Four years earlier, Elvis had a Humvee blow up on him on a highway outside Baghdad. Let me have her number at least, you say. July 23, 2012: “The Cheater’s Guide to Love” by Junot Díaz. And, besides, this oven is closed for business. You wait for the law student to melt, but she keeps her distance. I’ll tell the wife he was an accident, a onetime thing when I was drunk and I didn’t find out about it until now. His daughter was born that February. It’s probably your stupid fucking kid. I received the book as a Christmas present from my mother-in-law, and I read the first half in a day. You cry every time you hear Monchy y Alexandra, her favorite. It’s fucking scary. Who’s that? Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading The Cheater's Handbook For Women. Before you can figure out what the hell is going on, they flip you the bird and peel out. I should have done this years ago, you declare, and your friend Arlenny, who never, ever messed with you (Thank God, she mutters), rolls her eyes. It won’t be good for the boy, it won’t be good for you. You celebrate Arlenny’s Ph.D. defense. Are we going to see each other on Sunday? Well, I got a girl pregnant while we were down there. You walk the beach where they filmed “The Piano,” something she’s always wanted to do, and now, in penitent desperation, you give it to her. But I’m not really working out at all, you protest. New Cheaters Season starts Oct 19th - See All New Dates HERE. Two seconds later, security approaches you and asks for I.D. He is a piercingly cute carajito. She’s a straight-up Cambridge Cape Verdean. You take it all very personally. What does your partner need for her to heal? All rights reserved. Your friends begin to worry about you, and they are not exactly worrying types. Of course you dream about her. I hope I’m not dying. Do you want me to take you somewhere? You are suddenly overcome with the urge to cover him with your arms, with your whole body. Arlenny turns over the cards, quotes Oates: Revenge is living well, without you. You’re going to be a father. You’re afraid. You know as soon as you say it that you just buried yourself. Elvis and Darnell approve. (Well, actually she’s your fiancée, but hey, in a bit it so won’t matter.) She’s probably had a lot of bad experiences with the hit-and-run types. She had a kid. Of course you end up in bed, and it ain’t bad except for the fact that she never, never comes and she spends a lot of time complaining about her husband. Let’s try some physical therapy. You want not to hate him. The next day when you return from classes, the law student throws the notebook in your face. For a while you haunt the city, like a two-bit ballplayer dreaming of a call-up. I’ll put a machete in you, she promised. In “The Cheater’s Guide to Love”, Junot Díaz presents a story about love that goes sour after the primary character, Yunior’s infidelity is discovered. And then you wake up. You are holding the boy’s hand. Please, you write. YEAR 0. Easier to say that than This shit sucks. You take your break. That would do it. The happy couple leave you with the family and Elvis, Jr., while they visit various negocios to settle accounts and to pick up some necessaries. pushes with his thumb, watches you writhe, and announces that you have plantar fasciitis. 15. There’s a girl who keeps bumping into you. They’re walking hand in hand, and she looks so very happy that you try to find the space in your heart not to begrudge her. She throws a taunting glance at her husband and laughs. Elvis. This used to be me, you’re thinking. In a book written by one of these anonymous pollsters titled, “The Cheaters Manual: The Ultimate Guide To Cheating On Your Spouse And Getting Away With It…. Can’t argue with that. Fifty fucking girls? Does that help? 64. Depending on your browser, choose: ‘Save Target As…’ , ‘Save Link As…’ or ‘Download Linked File As…’. Save this story for later. I can’t go back to my family. She’s a big girl with skin like you wouldn’t believe, and, best of all, she doesn’t privar at all; actually seems nice. Security guards follow you in the New Yorker? that ’ s Guide to Love before closes. Before some of your suits get pregnant a student complains to the.... 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